Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Batman Returns

So there I am the Palmetto Baptist Easley awaiting rabies profilaxsis (shots so I won't get rabies). At the end of my last post I told you that I had to get 6 shots over a month long period... oh how I wish that were true. When I left work on Friday to go for my 1st round of vaccinations I was planning on getting my three (3) shots and coming right back to work... plans... they have a funny way of changing... After the receptionist (who didn't look like she was old enough to drive alone after 8pm much less handle any medical information) laughed at me and asked me stupid questions I sat in the waiting room for awhile. Then I was called back... and then you know what I did... waited some more. Then things got better, a really nice nurse came in and handed me this very shiek gown that you see above. At this point I knew two things 1. I was going to be there awhile and 2. maybe I was in for a lot more than I had anticipated. After a while reading tv (thats what you do when the sound if off and the closed captioning is on) a ball-headed doctor came in... I noticed it was the same doctor that treated my mom when she had kidney stones (not to be confused with Kidney Stones aka Amanda Kinney). This is what good ol' Dr. O'Quinn says to me, "I've been doing this for 15 years and this is the first time I've seen this." Well doc, I am glad that I can contribute to your education... At this point I'm thinking that he should keep his lack of experience in this area to himself, but he was very nice so I guess it was ok. Well to keep this post semi-short, I soon discovered that I would not just be administered 3 shots (one a site if bite [left index finger], one in left shoulder and another in right shoulder) that I was told but that the amount of vaccine was determined by weight... GREAT!!! 215lbs, I thought for sure they would roll a 55 gallon drum into my room. All I know is that 10mins later I was lying face down on a hospital bed with my pants half way down my rump and two nameless ladies on either side of me counting down to when the would simultainously shove sharp metal cylinders into my butt muscle... 2 1/2 hrs later I left the hospital with nine (9) new holes (6 of which were on my hind quarters), 6 bandaids (4 for of which were on my hind quarters and both the nurses conversed about how much "fun" it would be to remove them) and 9 new bruises and a limp... at least they fed me... More to come later


Heath said...

Ha, no one deserves it more than you. They ain't but one Crocodile Hunter and you ain't him. If I would've had to get shots last week...well, I don't do needles.

Anonymous said...

That is some funny crap
Adam Rhode

Hank said...

the needles would have done it for me. I could have seen the bat bite you, I could have watched them fly around the room... but reading about needles makes my skin crawl.